Perfect Vizion

Inspiring Testimony


My Name is Balbir I was born in Africa and my family immigrated to England in 1974.

I was raised in a devout Sikh family where love and respect to one another was taught. I would accompany my family to the temple every Sunday. I always knelt on my knees and did not sit crossed legged as we were required to do so at the temple. I made many attempts to understand and connect with my Gurus but there was always emptiness inside of me.

As a family we enjoyed watching Jesus of Nazareth. (This was a TV series from the late 70`s early 80`s.) I found his message so inspiring. The film portrayed him as a bridge to God. I was amazed by his power to heal, His sincerity to His people and His unique appearance which came across as a peaceful, calming figure. (This person had an AURA about him that mesmerized me).

At the age of 15 ? my parents had arranged my engagement to a boy from India whom I had never met or seen and by the age of 17, I was married here in England.

From this point forward my life changed drastically not for the better but for the worst. For the first 3 years of marriage, he was unemployed. This created frustration for him and resentment and anger towards me. I was his punch bag. He continually told me how I was the unluckiest person in the family and forever compared me to my Sister in Laws - that they were better than me. He would hit me if I questioned him, (on any issue or subject) and in front of my two young sons told me that I was a slave in his house. He controlled me and told me to commit suicide. He showed me no respect and continually belittled me. It was mental torture.

Over the years I lost my confidence, I had no self worth and I was at the point of no return. I was never in love with him but I still respected him as he was my husband as this was the way I was brought up. But my marriage felt like a prison sentence. I was suffocating. This man had such control over my life that emptiness filled my heart and hopelessness engulfed me. I became depressed. But even in my depression, I still had some faith. I never stopped believing in God. He helped me through my darkest hours and my most troublesome days.

Infact I even wanted to become a nun because I felt that it was a way of getting close to God. I wanted to serve him and find peace and comfort in my trouble. I found solace in keeping a diary which detailed my thoughts, my pain and my suffering. I often wrote prayers which gave me inner peace.

My immediate family were not aware of my situation. I kept it from them out of respect for my Mum and Dad. In spite of this my Mother was concerned as I had lost an awful lot of weight.

After 15 years of marriage I divorced my husband in 1995 and went back to live with my parents with my two sons. Still searching for peace I went to the Sikh temple and prayed to the Guru's and read the Punjabi Gurbani (Holy book). However my questions remained unanswered. In 1998 I wrote in my diary that 'I would only follow Jesus Christ' - but to this day I do not understand why or what made me write this.

8 years ago I met a lady whilst doing a Business Planning course. She invited me to her house and for some reason I confided in her and told her what I was going through. She gave me a book "Word for today" and a Bible which I'd seen on her coffee table. I read the word for today but I placed the Bible on top of my cupboard and said to myself that I was a Sikh and not a Christian. She invited me to St Martins Church in the Bullring and I accepted her invitation. The moment I first walked into a church was a moment I will never forget I felt so much peace and tranquillity.

Then 6 years ago I met someone and started a relationship. For the first time in my life I felt loved. We were both so in love but it was difficult to spend time together because of my family commitments. Then suddenly after 5 years together he told me that he had found somebody else and that his feelings had changed.

I could not believe what I was hearing. This broke me, he was my world. I trusted him and he abandoned and betrayed me. I was devastated. My life felt like it was all over again.....I felt empty, my heart broken and my soul destroyed. My confidence hit rock bottom and I was so lonely again. One evening still feeling hopeless and so despondent I was on my knees and cried out to Jesus, "Help Me ". Then I asked "What am I to do Lord?"

I was desperate for answers, I was finding the situation extremely difficult to deal with - even the kids noticed there was something wrong. As the weeks went by I continuously repeated to myself: - "In the name of Jesus Christ and My Guru's I am positive, I am loved, I am confident, I am prosperous."

In His mercy and grace He heard my prayers and worked His miracle through my friend Danny. Danny and I have worked for the same organisation for more years than I can remember. I was introduced to him through a mutual friend. I sat at one end of the office and he at the other. Due to circumstances beyond our control Danny was moved to a desk only yards from me.

One Saturday whilst working overtime Danny walked passed my desk. I was taking my lunch break and he was on his way out. He stopped at my desk and asked what I was reading. I replied "feel the fear and do it anyway". I then pointed to "Word for today" and explained that I was going through a bit of a rough time and this book (Word for today) in particular was bringing me the peace that I so desired. He looked confused and asked "you're not a Christian, are you?" I replied "No but every page I read was speaking to me and telling me what to do.

In a nutshell the message was 'hang in there, trust God and have faith".

Danny encouraged me to attend the Oasis Church which happens to be 10 minutes from where I live. So I plucked up the courage and visited Oasis. On my first visit I was introduced to Gus, Jane Adrian and Sandra Danny's wife.

I was amazed at how a place of worship united so many people both young and old.

The band, the hymns were fantastic. Two weeks later, on the 12th of March 2006. I went back a second time. This day was a momentous occasion. A day that would change my life, a day when I surrendered my life to Jesus. I sat at the back and watched a video by C J Mahoney. about what Jesus was going through as he contemplated being crucified on the cross. I felt he was talking to me telling me that Jesus took a cup full of our sins, sickness, disease and pain. I couldn't believe that this is what Jesus had done for me.

Then C J Mahoney talked about when Jesus was in the garden in Gethsemane. Matt 26:36. He said to his disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death". Stay here and keep watch with me. Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed:-

My Father, if it is possible, May this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.

He went away a second time and prayed:-

My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, May Your will be done.

Can you imagine the heavy burden, it must have been unbearable. Not only going through that but when he was nailed to the cross Matt 27:45 Jesus cried out in a loud voice: - My God, My God why have you forsaken me?

Even God could not be near him because of the sins he was carrying. I felt so emotional and I said, "Only you Lord understand my pain, my suffering and my loneliness.

I was so overwhelmed with emotion after watching the video; I do not know how I held myself together. I now understand His sacrifice, and His love for His people and his love for me, and this grabbed my attention. I said in my mind - Lord for the rest of my days, I will only follow you. I surrender my Life to you.

The 12th March 2006 was the beginning of my personal relationship with God of the Universe.

Sandra kindly took me to Adrian who said a prayer for me. Then Adrian passed me over to Gus. He asked me if I wanted to pray. I replied that I didn't know how to. So he prayed for me too, and then helped me pray my own prayer of commitment to Jesus.

My prayer was heartfelt, I said 4 things...........

Jesus, Thank you for dying for me, I want to follow you for the rest of my life.

Jesus forgive my sins

Help me to forgive

And lead me to you.

From that moment on, my life was transformed, I remember going home and thinking Balbir you're a Christian now, you're no longer a Sikh. I was so nervous, and excited. I knew my biggest hurdle would be my family and my two sons. How do I tell them that I have turned my back on the very religion I taught them to love and respect.

My son threatened to disown me if I became a Christian, but I knew for the first time that Jesus had died for me and I now have peace within me because of God's Holy Spirit. God had restored my hope in life. He gave me the gift of faith. I no longer depend on other people's acceptance. Gods love for me is unconditional and endures forever.

And His peace never leaves me. Since I made my decision I have still gone through trials and hardship but the difference this time is that I am never confused or lost because I know that all things work together for those who love the Lord and that He is in control.

His peace is a peace that I never had before. An inner quietness that is not shaken by life's troubles and pains. I also have an understanding now of why I exist and what my purpose is.

I feel a surge of activity and enthusiasm to live and honour the One who loves me and gave himself for my sins to set me free, so I can now know and enjoy God's pleasures and care.

My family particularly my sons have had a very hard time accepting my decision and although it hurts me to hurt them I know that the Lord will honour my obedience and that in prayer ALL things are possible.

When you realise that you are a lost sinner, that the Lord Jesus Christ is the saviour.

You need to open your heart and simply ask him to save you and forgive you. He will save you and forgive you , no matter what you have done. He will wipe your slate clean.....

Romans (10 : V13) " For who so ever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

So finally, why, am I getting baptised today?

1) The New Testament commands it. It is Obedience to God.

2) An opportunity for an encounter with God and the Holy Spirit.

3) My old Life is dead and I have new Life in Jesus. And 1`m just so excited to be a Christian. And I want to tell everyone....................